


smile

by SKRMIX



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Wakes & Funerals, this is sad im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:14:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26252491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SKRMIX/pseuds/SKRMIX
Summary: The only thought that plagues Chrom's mind is, how could I have helped?
Relationships: Chrom/My Unit | Reflet | Robin
Comments: 3
Kudos: 23





	smile

The only thought that plagues Chrom's mind is, how could I have helped?   
  
He sits at the second row of benches for the guests in the funeral home dressed in all black. Lissa is sitting next to him with her eyes puffy and red from all the crying she had done all day, she's dabbing at her tears with a tissue she had been holding onto since they've entered the home.  
  
Chrom himself couldn't be any worse then her, under his eyes burn with the amount of times he had been wiping his own tears away every time his thoughts wander, he doesn't think he could speak through the scratchy and soreness his throat had been left in from how much he had cried throughout the few days when he had received the news.   
  
And Robin is sitting next to him too, he doesn't shed any tears while his gaze is focused onto the casket that lays in front and centre of the room.   
  
Chrom's own eyes gaze ahead at the casket and he feels the tears prick at the corner of his eyes once more, he's dreading to go up there and see the face of the person he loved so dearly forever still and cold as they lay in the white sheets.   
  
He thinks he's going to cry even more.  
  
So when the service starts Chrom is respectful and listens to the prayers and speech even if he doesn't know the language, he stands when the speaker at the front motions them all to stand, he bows his head and places his hands together when they all pray together and sits when the rest of the people do so.  
  
And Chrom cries silently during the whole thing.   
  
When it's time to go up and say their final goodbyes, Chrom stays seated where he is and watches and listens to the sobs and cries of the people who say their final goodbyes. He hears Lissa sob loudly and she's embraced by one of their friends that had come attended the service. Chrom sits there until he's being pulled along to see the body, to see the one person he cared and cherished so much to say his final goodbyes by Robin.   
  
When they're standing in front of the casket, Chrom didn't think he could have cried anymore then he had already done throughout the day. He can't even say a proper goodbye while he's filled with regrets of the past, they could have spent so much more time together, this isn't fair, he could have done something to help, he would have helped in anyway he could.   
  
Why did it have to end like this?  
  
When it comes to the time to close the casket, everyone stands around him and a sheet is placed over the body before the casket closes forever, this is the last time they'll ever see the person inside in a forever stillness almost like they're sleeping peacefully.   
  
And Chrom stands there even when everyone goes back to sit, he can accept that this person is long gone but he wants to spend as much time with them before he would have to leave.   
  
He wants to spend more time alone with the person he loved so much that when he thinks about them a smile forms onto his face and he feels so warm inside almost like he's getting butterflies in his stomach. Wen they would spend time together for the whole day and they have to go back home it brings an loneliness inside him at the thought of them leaving so he asks if they want to sleep over. The times he would keep checking his phone to see if they've replied to his message because they're always talking to one another every single day, both in voice calls while they play games together online or even when they're watching videos together at their own homes. When they would laugh at their failed cooking in the small little kitchen of Chrom's apartment, or the time they've spent the whole night laughing and messing up their pokemon cookies and all the many more memories they've made together.   
  
Chrom will miss that.  
  
"You couldn't have helped." Robin says next to him and even if his words were cruel, Chrom knows that he's speaking the truth.  
  
Robin's right, Chrom couldn't have helped, not when all the signs were right in front of him.  
  
So he closes his eyes to prevent the tears from falling.  
  


* * *

  
"I'm sorry." Chrom says to the silence of the room, the words he couldn't say at the funeral home or at the burial while staring at the flowers that sit on the bed of the person that had passed as they taunt at him. He smiles sadly while he blinks the tears away, he doesn't want to shed anymore then he had already.  
  
He should had seen the signs, they were all there in front of him.   
  
It was at the end of the week of the service that the parents had invited Chrom and the rest of their friends over to say goodbyes in private, Chrom had waited for everyone to be done before he had entered the room alone.  
  
Alone because he was the closest to the person who had previously owned the room he was standing in.  
  
Chrom closes his eyes where he sits on the desk chair near the bed, he feels like this whole thing was his fault.   
  
He could have done something, anything. Why hadn't he known that his friend was calling out to him, that he was calling for help?  
  
"Chrom." He hears Robin say from the entrance of the room before he makes his way across to him.  
  
Chrom should have known that his friend was trying to confess how he felt.  
  
"You couldn't have helped." Robin repeats what he had said at the funeral home while he bitterly laughs and Chrom wants to say something, anything, but Robin is right.  
  
Chrom wants to laugh and cry at his past self, how could he have been so stupid?   
  
"I didn't want you to help." Robin smiles at him.  
  
Robin smiles all the time, even when there's nothing to smile at.  
  
Robin laughs all the time to cover up how he feels.  
  
And Chrom can't get rid of these feelings that had been left inside him.   
  
If he had known, he would have tried to help in any way. But he knows he cant now because Robin wouldn't tell him how he really felt, Robin wouldn't tell him what was wrong.  
  
He couldn't have helped him, he doesn't know what to do, he can't do anything now.   
  
So when he meets Robin's eyes that stare back at him.  
  
Robin who is sitting in front of him, on his bed in the dark with the flowers that bleed out, with a rope tied tightly around his neck.  
  
Chrom can only return the tired smile that Robin is giving him.  
  
"I'm sorry."

**Author's Note:**

> take my angsty fic *gives u feels*  
> im go cry now, thanks for reading T v T)//


End file.
